Getting Back To the Easel

It’s been a while. Like since the start of covid a while. My last painting before the pause was done in February 2020.

Winter Trees, 2020 oil on two panels

I don’t know what it was about the shut down that paused the painting. I mean…like besides everything. But I was laid off for two and a half months and spent the bulk of it in the studio. I was amongst the privileged who had a basic income via my boss’s ability to secure a PPP loan (one that was used properly I might add), while having no break in my health insurance, and was left to my own devices otherwise…covid restrictions notwithstanding. As an introvert it was nearly ideal, if only the world wasn’t awash in death and uncertainty. But I didn’t paint.

The simultaneous reality was that this was first time that I had ever had away from my job of 14 years at that point. I haven’t been away from the building for more than a week, except for once. And typically my paid time off was spent doing other work outside of my 9-5, so I was beyond burnt out by this point. It was a bittersweet freedom that had me horrified, scared, but also utterly blissful. More than one thing can be true at once.

During this time I found myself drawn (pun intended) toward pencil and paper. For me anxious energy always found the most direct route out through drawing more than anything else. The smoothness of a soft graphite (my happiness lies somewhere in the 2B-4B range), over even smoother paper allowed my hand to twitch and swirl and backtrack over and over. Among the other things I did that weren’t painting (sewing masks and cooking), drawing was what occupied my time.

Frazzled Flowers Series, Chrysanthemum 01

Fast forward to my going back to work in early June 2020, which was also the day we were scheduled to look at the house we now live in. Then fast forward three years: months of moving and unpacking and organizing; seasons of gardening; several contract projects for other organizations; and just general living.

Now I’m back at the easel. Doing the reps, as it were, to get my sense of feel back for the brushes and paint (more on the paint another time). And it feels good. Like real good.